Greetings and holiday blessings, dear ones.
So here we are with snow on the ground, a cold breeze moving through the last days of December and the shortest day of sunlight officially past. For many of us that is a happy notion, since the long dark nights and short, brisk days can be emotionally challenging, especially when coupled with holiday stress and an immense cultural pressure to be cheery. So the real focus of this blog is happiness and becoming more happy-the goal and birthright of all living beings. Let’s get down to it, and how to achieve that through proper focus.
I’ll begin with where we focus our attention and intention as exemplified by the art (and it is an art) of concentration. In yoga, the word for this is Dharana, and it means making the mind one-pointed, i.e. focusing on one thing to the exclusion of all others. The Buddhists use the word Shamatha for this practice and all spiritual traditions emphasize one-pointed concentration on the Ultimate, the Divine, or whatever name we choose for the infinite, all-pervading Intelligence. In reality, whether we consider ourselves to be spiritual or not, we employ this technique at various times throughout the day, but the question remains to be asked: what are the possible fruits of our concentrated efforts, and are we concentrated on things that will ultimately help us to be happier?
How often do we practice Dharana? This varies wildly from person to person and from day to day, depending on our mental/emotional states. During work, a creative endeavor or exercise, we often concentrate deeply and completely, and time may pass by very quickly. Our actual perception of time fluctuates and this is significant. Maybe time isn’t as linear as we are taught to believe.
The hackneyed example of the athlete, completely present and absorbed in the game, still holds true and contains within it the seed of success or victory for that athlete, depending on the depth of their concentration. Yet I’ll argue that it is just as important for that athlete to concentrate on the right thing. If she begins to focus on tired legs then time will shift to a snail’s pace and the outcome of the race will certainly be affected. And this happens during meditation as well, especially as we first engage the practice. During my first month of meditation time seemed to play games with me. I would think, it’s been at least 20 minutes and then the clock would show me that it had been 5.
So real concentration should to be centered around the present moment-and this is the secret and the power of meditation, as it brings one gradually more and more in touch with what is happening in the present reality, rather than the past that we constantly edit and the future that will never take place as we imagine it. Starting with simple breath-awareness, or body-awareness when we sit is perfect for creating this sense of being established in the eternal present, as my teacher Dharma Mittra would say.
The main problem facing us is discontentment with the present and seeking an out from that discontent. Feel upset, and immediately the mind moves to the past or future, seeking a more pleasurable experience than the current one. Sitting in traffic, are we focused on the traffic jam? Not likely, and if this isn’t proof that we truly thirst for happiness, then I don’t know what is. But in reality we all know that temporary pleasure comes and goes, just as pain does, so stay in the traffic jam, and practice concentrating on the present moment. This will bring a greater ability in the future to concentrate on happiness as it begins to manifest itself. To not take it for granted. The saying goes, “time flies when you’re having fun.” Paying attention when you’re not can help us to really be present with the good, and understand its causes.
Now the sages, saints and teachers constantly tell us that true and meaningful happiness is long-lasting and builds gradually over time, with practice and effort. So we must distinguish between these two, happiness and pleasure, and set our sights on concentrating on the thing(s) that will help us to do two things:
One, accept reality as it is, and two, move ourselves towards an ideal or model of happiness. In Christian terms, we can concentrate on being Christ-like, compassionate and forgiving and selfless. The same holds true with the Buddha as a model, or any great teacher, saint or person that exemplifies true happiness.
So meditation isn’t a break from reality, but the exact opposite. In a time when a lot of different practices are entering the Western awareness, we have to be careful to understand the true purpose and essence of meditation, and how to practice it. True meditation is a re-structuring of our mental patterns, a remover of the deep grooves of discontentment that we’ve rutted into our self-perception and mindsets, most of which surround running from the present moment.
So sit still and try not to fidget, eyes closed most of the way and with a straight spine-this keeps the mind alert allows blood and energy to move up and down the spine. Set a timer and start with a realistic goal, let’s say 15 minutes. If that seems too long then try 10. Begin with simple present-moment awareness, to help calm the mind. Then formulate an ideal in your mind of love, selflessness, compassion, happiness or something uplifting and during the meditation keep the concentration on that ideal. You can use a mantra like “may I be more peaceful” to help anchor the mind. As thoughts and sounds invariably arise let them go without judgment, frustration or distraction-our minds are restless and love to chase thoughts endlessly. Instead, bring it back to the present moment and the focus of your meditation. Each week, add one more minute to your timer, and after a few months, you’ll be amazed how long you can sit and concentrate, and will certainly notice the effects in other areas of your life as well.
The object of meditation is up to you, of course, but themes like our inevitable mortality, compassion, what true happiness would actually look like to us and forgiveness are a great place to start. To have success in life we have to first believe that we can succeed, and to become happy we have to know that happiness is truly possible. For thousands of years, thousands of wise people have shown that it is and left detailed notes of their journeys. I wish everyone a blessed New Year and great fortune in your life’s work, and the best of luck with your meditation practices.
Warmest holiday wishes,
Barbu
